Is He the One? | Part 1

It’s a question that just about every girl, believer or not, will eventually ask herself. How do I know if this is the guy that I am supposed to marry? Is he “The One”? Or is there someone else? What if I marry him and then meet someone else who is “The One”? What if I don’t marry him and I never meet anyone else? What if there isn’t just “one”? What if there isn’t anyone out there for me? What if I’m doomed to be single forever?

I’ve heard John MacArthur and John Piper both address this issue, because seemingly it’s something that a lot of us are concerned about. If you haven’t already, I would really recommend you check out John MacArthur’s video on Taking the Mystery Out of Knowing God’s Will. It is really a lot simpler than we make it out to be. We make it such a stressful and worrisome problem, when in fact God has spelled out His will for us in His Word. It is a longer video, but well worth it. You must watch it!

Back to the question of knowing to whom, if, when, and where marriage is to take place. I’m no expert. I’m not married. But I do believe a few things:

1. God is first. I don’t think God plays games with us or that He is cruel. I think if you have that desire in you to be married and you are following His will, as John MacArthur says, “do what you want.” Paul makes it clear that it is better to be married if you can’t control yourself. 

“But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” – 1 Corinthians 7:9

However, Paul also says it is best to not be married. 

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

So if you desire to be married, then marry. But if you can control yourself, it is better to fully devote yourself to God. God is first, above any relationships we may have. Don’t spend all of your time focused on worrying about marriage. Instead, devote yourself to God, to serving Him.

More to come-

Part Two: How an ugly girl can be beautiful and what it means to be a set-apart girl 

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Published in: on December 31, 2008 at 4:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

Because sometimes you just need it…

starbucks

They even have their own parking spots! I love Starbucks!

When I saw this bad boy on my trip to the mall yesterday, it was love at first sight. This girl needs her coffee. It’s like blood. Necessity. After almost a week of withdraw, finally I found a Starbucks at a hospital. This is what happens when you’re from the middle-of-nowhere Kentucky and you go home to spend Christmas with family. You get bored and you get decaffeinated. Horray for finding expensive coffee water!

I’ve had a lot of time lately to think about where I’m headed. I’m out of school, unemployed, and need to pay the bills. There is a lot decision-wise going on in my life right now and it seems to have all hit at the same time. And bonus, at Christmas time when the last thing I want to be doing is thinking about how everything is going to work out. I doubt my family enjoys me spending my time worrying when I am supposed to be spending time with them.

So let’s all remember (I’m mostly preaching to myself here), that nothing is worth worrying over. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

Things I know: God is good. He provides. He is sovereign. He is faithful.

No worries, mate.

 

Published in: on December 21, 2008 at 12:33 pm  Comments (2)  

Dear Googlers:

It seems that a lot of people find my blog by searching for phrases like “a time of singleness, how to find the right Christian man, waiting for Mr. Right, why do Christian women have to wait so long for a man” etc. I am kind of surprised that the search results lead you to my blog. I am no expert in this area. I think what really surprised me was how often these phrases were being searched. This is obviously a topic that many of you are interested in, otherwise you wouldn’t be typing it in on Google and navigating yourself to here. I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any answers for you here. But I think that I know the desperation you must feel, especially since you’ve resorted to searching for help on Google. 

Singleness for women, specifically Christian women, is not a pleasant topic. Singleness is definitely viewed as a curse and something one should avoid at all costs. I’ve been there, done that. I know what it’s like to want to know the answer so bad to the question of “Why haven’t I found The One?” You’ll search everywhere. You just know there must be a clear cut, reasonable answer. It’s something you can fix. Maybe it’s your hair or your weight. Maybe it’s your lack of organizational skills. Or maybe it’s because you owe something to God, so He is withholding. Girl, let me tell you now…if you think you are single for any of these reasons, get your head out of your butt. Sure, there is nothing wrong with self-improvement. But don’t think for one second that God is playing games with you. Or that changing your hair color will suddenly usher Mr. Right into your life.

I think there is a lot to be addressed within the topic of Single Christian Ladies. You all seem to be interested and searching for something. So, I’m asking you to leave me a comment and let me know specifically what questions you have and what situation you find yourself in. Be anonymous if you must. Send me an e-mail if you don’t wanna leave a comment: refogirl@gmail.com

Published in: on December 18, 2008 at 3:35 pm  Leave a Comment  

Emergen[t]cy!

“I don’t want to say because what works for me might not work for you. This is where I am on my journey, but my journey is different than yours. For me to tell you what I actually believe might cause a division between us and I don’t want that to happen. I want to keep the lines of communication open between us.”

Isn’t it interesting that the people who bring up the questions are the very people who refuse to answer. Maybe I am way off base here (and please correct me if I am), but I have found that these people who are all about conversation almost always refuse to participate in it. I don’t get it. They present a topic, a discussion begins, but when asked to defend their position they either quickly run away or turn it into an ad hominem argument, usually about your unloving tone or your anger issues. This perplexes me. 

From what I understand of the Emergent movement, conversation is what it’s all about. So how does it then make sense that ’emerging’ folks refuse to converse? Initiating a conversation and then stepping out of it when it gets too hot to handle is not ‘dialogue.’ 

This is a concern to me because this is what’s trendy. The Emergent scene is where you will find the cool kids. It’s where the good music is played and the cool bibles are used. It’s super postmodern and attractive to the trying-to-be-hip youth and young adulters. It is nothing new, but its reinvention of itself is very consumer driven. Just go look at your local Christian bookstore and you will see what I mean (think Rob Bell, Brian McLaren, Doug Pagitt). One word: NOOMA. 

I am really hoping that someone who hangs with the emergent camp is reading this and will be tempted to respond. Cause seriously, I don’t get it. Let’s have a conversation.

Published in: on December 11, 2008 at 5:48 pm  Leave a Comment