Is He the One? | Part 2

Continuing on from the last post, two more things I believe in pertaining to the so-called dilemma that single Christian gals find themselves in:

2. Don’t be desperate. You aren’t going to die over this. You aren’t the first woman to deal with the emotions of wanting to be with a man and you won’t be the last. A lot of us, I’d say the majority of us, want to be in a relationship with a Godly man. We want to be the helpmate that we were created to be. The feminist movement has attempted to destroy the biblical instruction of what it is to be a Godly woman (see Genesis 1, Proverbs 31, Titus 2). We are told from a very young age that we should strive to be better than men, that they have suppressed us into submission and we must rise against it. And with this call for rebellion, also comes a bunch of crap about self-esteem. We look to the world and all of these beautiful women have great clothes, dream jobs, and super hot guys. We look to ourselves and see all of our shortcomings. We are told that unless we are beautiful, we will never be happy. Unless we lower our standards, we will never be happy. Unless we look like the world, we will never be happy. These are lies!

I just picked up Leslie Ludy’s book Set-Apart Femininity. I haven’t gotten very far into it yet, but from listening to her talk about the book on her podcast, I’m very encouraged to have found a woman who desires to live a set-apart life. She understands exactly the struggles and the desires of a girly heart, but she also knows the biblical truth of what it is to be set-apart, especially as a woman. 

To sum this up, it really does suck to be a girl sometimes. We have this longing in us to be found beautiful. We want to be pursued by Prince Charming, to be loved and made whole. The problem with this is that we are expecting a man to fulfill our longings when Christ is the only true fulfillment. If you haven’t figured this out already, men will let you down. They aren’t perfect. They don’t get it right all the time. And neither do we. People will let you down. It’s a fact. That is why our hope belongs in Christ alone. He is true, everlasting love. Don’t think that the longings of your heart are going to be fulfilled when you get married. Get into the Word and seek God.

3. Understand Real Beauty. Real beauty doesn’t involve being a size zero, having perfect hair, and gorgeous makeup. We need to stop being so focused on our bodies. I am not perfect. I am far from it. By the standards of the world, I am not beautiful. I am flawed and the only real solution would be a ton of cosmetic surgeries and a lot of assistance. I could look to this world and think about how I can never meet its standards. What guy will ever find me attractive? There are far more beautiful women out there that I just can’t compete with. No guy is going to want me.

I hope that if you share those thoughts you will get this reality: those are not the guys you want to attract. If a guy only wants you because of how you look, forget him. That is not a man of God. That is a man of the world. I’m sad to say that those guys are the majority and Godly men are indeed rare. But they do exist! And these men understand what real beauty is, not the artificiality of the world’s standards. Don’t seek to be beautiful to the world. Instead, seek after God. 

“All that is in the world; the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life; is not of the Father but is of the world.” – 1 John 2:16

I know that I myself would much rather reach the end of my life knowing that I sought after God and His will instead of chasing after guys and trying to be attractive to the world. If it means that I never marry and find myself alone, so be it. God has called me to be set-apart and it means denying self. 

I hope these rambling thoughts of mine let you know that you are not alone in these feelings. They are common. However, be uncommon in your beauty. Don’t worry about the world. Don’t worry about guys. Seek God.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is the be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

Published in: on January 1, 2009 at 12:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

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