Psalm 62

My Soul Waits for God Alone

To the choirmaster: according to Jeduthun. A Psalm of David.

 For God alone  my soul  waits in silence;
   from him comes my salvation.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
   my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. How long will all of you attack a man
   to batter him, like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.
   They take pleasure in falsehood.
They bless with their mouths,
   but inwardly they curse. 

 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
   for my hope is from him.
 He only is my rock and my salvation,
   my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
 On God rests my salvation and my glory;
   my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

 Trust in him at all times, O people;
    pour out your heart before him;
   God is a refuge for us. 

 Those of low estate are but a breath;
   those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
   they are together lighter than a breath.
Put no trust in extortion;
   set no vain hopes on robbery;
   if riches increase, set not your heart on them.

 Once God has spoken;
   twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
 and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
   according to his work.

Published in: on January 25, 2009 at 10:53 pm  Comments (1)  

A Cloudy & Overcast Heart




I took this picture in Reno, Nevada almost three years ago. The sun was starting to come through the clouds. It was a glorious sight to see and a moment I remember on days like today. When it seems like I’m forever going to be stuck in the clouds, the sun starts to emerge. The warmth pours out. Patience and contentment are the things  I have been learning. A difficult lesson. Praise God for He is still working on me.

  Better is one day in your courts 
       than a thousand elsewhere; 
       I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God 
       than dwell in the tents of the wicked.

       For the LORD God is a sun and shield; 
       the LORD bestows favor and honor; 
       no good thing does he withhold 
       from those whose walk is blameless.

       O LORD Almighty, 
       blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 84:10-12

Published in: on January 17, 2009 at 3:26 pm  Comments (1)  

Taking Your Own Advice

It’s really easy to write it. It’s something entirely different to live it. I can write and write and write about how God is first, no matter what. But unless I live that way, the words on paper (or the computer screen) mean nothing. 

When the time comes that I must choose whom to please, I admit that I hesitate. I want to do what I think is in my best interest. HA! What a joke. Like little ol’ me really knows what’s best. I don’t think so. I’m always messing things up. Sometimes I get frustrated at myself over what salad dressing I’ve chosen, so what makes me think I am capable of handling the big stuff?

This week has been about letting go. It’s not like I am in control anyway, but my mind tends to think so. I am learning to fully trust in the Lord. That means trusting when I feel like the rug has been pulled out from underneath me, when all this time I thought 1+1=3 and it turns out that 1+1=2 (yes, the answer is obvious, but sometimes you can be blind to the truth). I must trust when I can’t see the next step in front of me, when it feels like I’ll always be stuck in this hurt. 

I firmly believe that in all things, God knows. Nothing is a surprise to Him. Nothing is out of His control. He will do as He pleases, when He pleases. Praise God for  He said, “as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9)

Always trust the Lord God Almighty. He is more than faithful.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart 
       and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him, 
       and he will make your paths straight.

-Proverbs 3:5-6

Published in: on January 12, 2009 at 6:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

Keeping Your Mouth Shut

I’m learning this lesson more and more every day. I used to think I had a problem with showing emotion. I tend to keep a lot of things inside, which isn’t always the best thing to do. You can’t hold it all in. Sometimes the tears and the frustrations need to come out or you will go insane.

I’ve reached the point now where I’m having to learn to quiet my emotions. I am not always successful at this and I end up getting myself into ridiculous arguments with my loved ones because I’ve overreacted and let my emotions control me. In the moment it always seems like I’m right and shouldn’t back down, but later I realize just how crazy I’m being. I think it’s probably a girl thing, this tendency to let your emotions control you. We know that this is just insane. Emotions are often wrong and can’t be trusted alone as a way of reasoning through a situation. So, I’ve been learning how to keep my mouth shut.

If I keep my mouth shut and let my crazy girl emotions pass on by, I find that when I do feel sane again I can approach the situation like a reasonable person. There are a lot of songs and movies that send the message of “listen to your heart.” I personally don’t want to listen to my heart. My heart has some bad stuff going on in it that often works against me rather than for me. I’d rather approach a problem with a clear head, seek after God’s will, look to His Word, spend time in prayer, and go from there. Sure, it would be much easier to jump to a conclusion based on what my heart is feeling, but the end result is hardly ever  good.

I’ve learned that when I do keep my mouth shut and tell my emo-ness to take a hike, the anxiety subsides and I realize just how stupid I am being. Seriously, so much drama can be avoided by the simple realization of “I’m being a total girl right now and I need to punch my emotions in the face.” Being a girl is not a problem, but the overbearing, overwhelming emotions that come with being a girl are a problem.

Step one: Shut my mouth.

Step two: Pray.

Step three: Realize how silly I am and be thankful that I kept my mouth shut.

Published in: on January 2, 2009 at 2:55 pm  Comments (1)  

Is He the One? | Part 2

Continuing on from the last post, two more things I believe in pertaining to the so-called dilemma that single Christian gals find themselves in:

2. Don’t be desperate. You aren’t going to die over this. You aren’t the first woman to deal with the emotions of wanting to be with a man and you won’t be the last. A lot of us, I’d say the majority of us, want to be in a relationship with a Godly man. We want to be the helpmate that we were created to be. The feminist movement has attempted to destroy the biblical instruction of what it is to be a Godly woman (see Genesis 1, Proverbs 31, Titus 2). We are told from a very young age that we should strive to be better than men, that they have suppressed us into submission and we must rise against it. And with this call for rebellion, also comes a bunch of crap about self-esteem. We look to the world and all of these beautiful women have great clothes, dream jobs, and super hot guys. We look to ourselves and see all of our shortcomings. We are told that unless we are beautiful, we will never be happy. Unless we lower our standards, we will never be happy. Unless we look like the world, we will never be happy. These are lies!

I just picked up Leslie Ludy’s book Set-Apart Femininity. I haven’t gotten very far into it yet, but from listening to her talk about the book on her podcast, I’m very encouraged to have found a woman who desires to live a set-apart life. She understands exactly the struggles and the desires of a girly heart, but she also knows the biblical truth of what it is to be set-apart, especially as a woman. 

To sum this up, it really does suck to be a girl sometimes. We have this longing in us to be found beautiful. We want to be pursued by Prince Charming, to be loved and made whole. The problem with this is that we are expecting a man to fulfill our longings when Christ is the only true fulfillment. If you haven’t figured this out already, men will let you down. They aren’t perfect. They don’t get it right all the time. And neither do we. People will let you down. It’s a fact. That is why our hope belongs in Christ alone. He is true, everlasting love. Don’t think that the longings of your heart are going to be fulfilled when you get married. Get into the Word and seek God.

3. Understand Real Beauty. Real beauty doesn’t involve being a size zero, having perfect hair, and gorgeous makeup. We need to stop being so focused on our bodies. I am not perfect. I am far from it. By the standards of the world, I am not beautiful. I am flawed and the only real solution would be a ton of cosmetic surgeries and a lot of assistance. I could look to this world and think about how I can never meet its standards. What guy will ever find me attractive? There are far more beautiful women out there that I just can’t compete with. No guy is going to want me.

I hope that if you share those thoughts you will get this reality: those are not the guys you want to attract. If a guy only wants you because of how you look, forget him. That is not a man of God. That is a man of the world. I’m sad to say that those guys are the majority and Godly men are indeed rare. But they do exist! And these men understand what real beauty is, not the artificiality of the world’s standards. Don’t seek to be beautiful to the world. Instead, seek after God. 

“All that is in the world; the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life; is not of the Father but is of the world.” – 1 John 2:16

I know that I myself would much rather reach the end of my life knowing that I sought after God and His will instead of chasing after guys and trying to be attractive to the world. If it means that I never marry and find myself alone, so be it. God has called me to be set-apart and it means denying self. 

I hope these rambling thoughts of mine let you know that you are not alone in these feelings. They are common. However, be uncommon in your beauty. Don’t worry about the world. Don’t worry about guys. Seek God.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is the be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30

Published in: on January 1, 2009 at 12:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

Is He the One? | Part 1

It’s a question that just about every girl, believer or not, will eventually ask herself. How do I know if this is the guy that I am supposed to marry? Is he “The One”? Or is there someone else? What if I marry him and then meet someone else who is “The One”? What if I don’t marry him and I never meet anyone else? What if there isn’t just “one”? What if there isn’t anyone out there for me? What if I’m doomed to be single forever?

I’ve heard John MacArthur and John Piper both address this issue, because seemingly it’s something that a lot of us are concerned about. If you haven’t already, I would really recommend you check out John MacArthur’s video on Taking the Mystery Out of Knowing God’s Will. It is really a lot simpler than we make it out to be. We make it such a stressful and worrisome problem, when in fact God has spelled out His will for us in His Word. It is a longer video, but well worth it. You must watch it!

Back to the question of knowing to whom, if, when, and where marriage is to take place. I’m no expert. I’m not married. But I do believe a few things:

1. God is first. I don’t think God plays games with us or that He is cruel. I think if you have that desire in you to be married and you are following His will, as John MacArthur says, “do what you want.” Paul makes it clear that it is better to be married if you can’t control yourself. 

“But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” – 1 Corinthians 7:9

However, Paul also says it is best to not be married. 

“I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.” – 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

So if you desire to be married, then marry. But if you can control yourself, it is better to fully devote yourself to God. God is first, above any relationships we may have. Don’t spend all of your time focused on worrying about marriage. Instead, devote yourself to God, to serving Him.

More to come-

Part Two: How an ugly girl can be beautiful and what it means to be a set-apart girl 

Published in: on December 31, 2008 at 4:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

Because sometimes you just need it…


They even have their own parking spots! I love Starbucks!

When I saw this bad boy on my trip to the mall yesterday, it was love at first sight. This girl needs her coffee. It’s like blood. Necessity. After almost a week of withdraw, finally I found a Starbucks at a hospital. This is what happens when you’re from the middle-of-nowhere Kentucky and you go home to spend Christmas with family. You get bored and you get decaffeinated. Horray for finding expensive coffee water!

I’ve had a lot of time lately to think about where I’m headed. I’m out of school, unemployed, and need to pay the bills. There is a lot decision-wise going on in my life right now and it seems to have all hit at the same time. And bonus, at Christmas time when the last thing I want to be doing is thinking about how everything is going to work out. I doubt my family enjoys me spending my time worrying when I am supposed to be spending time with them.

So let’s all remember (I’m mostly preaching to myself here), that nothing is worth worrying over. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

Things I know: God is good. He provides. He is sovereign. He is faithful.

No worries, mate.


Published in: on December 21, 2008 at 12:33 pm  Comments (2)  

Dear Googlers:

It seems that a lot of people find my blog by searching for phrases like “a time of singleness, how to find the right Christian man, waiting for Mr. Right, why do Christian women have to wait so long for a man” etc. I am kind of surprised that the search results lead you to my blog. I am no expert in this area. I think what really surprised me was how often these phrases were being searched. This is obviously a topic that many of you are interested in, otherwise you wouldn’t be typing it in on Google and navigating yourself to here. I’m sorry to say that I don’t have any answers for you here. But I think that I know the desperation you must feel, especially since you’ve resorted to searching for help on Google. 

Singleness for women, specifically Christian women, is not a pleasant topic. Singleness is definitely viewed as a curse and something one should avoid at all costs. I’ve been there, done that. I know what it’s like to want to know the answer so bad to the question of “Why haven’t I found The One?” You’ll search everywhere. You just know there must be a clear cut, reasonable answer. It’s something you can fix. Maybe it’s your hair or your weight. Maybe it’s your lack of organizational skills. Or maybe it’s because you owe something to God, so He is withholding. Girl, let me tell you now…if you think you are single for any of these reasons, get your head out of your butt. Sure, there is nothing wrong with self-improvement. But don’t think for one second that God is playing games with you. Or that changing your hair color will suddenly usher Mr. Right into your life.

I think there is a lot to be addressed within the topic of Single Christian Ladies. You all seem to be interested and searching for something. So, I’m asking you to leave me a comment and let me know specifically what questions you have and what situation you find yourself in. Be anonymous if you must. Send me an e-mail if you don’t wanna leave a comment:

Published in: on December 18, 2008 at 3:35 pm  Leave a Comment